P.S. I can't hear my feet
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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