so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
