I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
