it wasn't lemon gatorade
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
