What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
