1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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