Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
