we're blogging at a bar
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
