Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Randomize
