I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
