what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
