Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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