it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
