And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
