I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
