then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
