I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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