I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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