Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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