I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
