Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He shit in the fireplace
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
