How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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