Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
