I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
