he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
