so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He did a backflip because drugs
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
