I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Less talking, more tequila
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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