fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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