i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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