she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
