he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
