Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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