Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
