please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
