Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
