thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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