D3 body, D1 cock
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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