BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
