12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
