Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
