We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
