I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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