Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
