she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
