I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
