sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
