Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
