just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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