just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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