Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
