Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
