He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
false alarm. still invincible.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i want to swaddle you in tequila
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
